Gr...Quiet Moment

Ryan Beard

Quiet Moment

Here's a rough draft of what I wrote last night. The song I attached was in the movie. Hope you enjoy it.


Never knew the best was yet to come

Thought my life would carry on

Realized I was missing out on something special in my soul

Felt an emptiness I could not fill

So i closed my eyes to make believe

Caught the wave of sweet, sweet dreams

Saw the light of perfection in a babies glow

And now I think I finally know



A child offers a deeper feeling than I have ever known

There's a quiet moment surrounding my whole world

I feel an explosion of love spilling out of me

A quiet moment that completes me



Growing up, they grow so fast

They show you good and surprise you with the bad

They cleanse the world with their infectious laugh

And these are the problems I wish i had

To ache with worry when they don't call

To hear the crack in my world when they fall

Soothe the fears that swim in their heads

To earn their love by showing them respect



I find a sanctuary in their boundless energy

There's a quiet moment that envelopes me

I feel a peaceful light that burns away my doubt

It's a quiet moment I only dream about

A quiet moment I hope I don't live without.



July 17, 2009

Amy Fortelny


Ryan,



You say this was a rough draft? It seem pretty complete to me. In fact I think it is beautifully written and sounds perfect.

I am pretty sure I asked you this same question last week but can you tell me again why you stopped writing? Seems as if when I read something you wrote, or in the instance prior to this one heard something you wrote, I am in awe and it makes me wonder why you would have ever stopped and not share your work with people.

I guess another question I could ask would be, what has inspired you to write lately? I know last night you said the movie you watched made you want to have kids, but there has to be more to it. Yes?

I am sorry to ask all these questions. I was just curious.

And just know that I think it was beautiful. I hope opinion means something. And if it does, I truly hope you continue.



On a separate note, that song was also beautiful.

Amy


July 17, 2009

Ryan Beard



That was the first thing I wrote in at least a year. I have been inspired to write more. To be honest you have inspired me to write, having awakened some feelings I haven't felt in a while. Though I haven't got around to penning anything concerning my feelings for you...yet=)



......Funny thing you went to this movie with me and yet she was the one who get the poem and you share this side of you. I want to be this person - this person that inspires you and awakens feelings deep inside. The one that keeps you up at night on the phone or computer just to talk about nothing important. She is the special one - so special she out shined me and us. How can I ever live up to that or move past it. I am not special. Funny how you watched that movie with me and didn't share this. Is it because you were thinking of her during the movie? Or because I don't have kids? Funny how you just wanted her to feel special because she was in a bad place and had no one, funny in order to do that you had to get romantically and sexually involved with a married woman and make me feel like a no one. Will I ever feel special? Will I ever feel like you really chose to be with me? You didn't even remember how many years we had been together? It must not be that important to you. Maybe the year with Amy didn't count, but then there was Kristen, Kate and Janet. So we have had one year and a bad one at that. Why should we even count this as a year if a year ago you were still trying to be with Amy. JUMP. Stupid. I am just the girl that wants to be with you. And I don't know who you are.

I want to pull back some how to protect myself - not be the first to say I love you all the time. Not go over to visit you as much and be s easy. Not want to call and always be available all the time. Those aren't ways to make you love me - just the ways I love you too much.